How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
