all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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