they need to just BURY HIM!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
