Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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