Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
