yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I love you. Go after that dick
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
