He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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