I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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