His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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