It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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