Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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