Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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