Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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