I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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