Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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