I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize
