Soap is not a condiment
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
