The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize