Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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