AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
