just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am mentally ready for anal.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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