Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize