just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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