why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
