How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
