Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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