his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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