My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
