she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
