...so i touched it.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I've blown a few things in my day
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
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hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
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we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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