my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
