Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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