Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
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he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
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I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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