I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
