Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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