Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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