I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize