there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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