the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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