I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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