This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize