We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
