Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
