Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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