Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
