..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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