It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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