dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
