like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
