We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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