I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize