it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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