btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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