Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
