dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
