Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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