You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
