I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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