what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
