I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
