CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
