Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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