Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
