I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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